Ray-Anne Carr

Gather around and get yourself comfy.

Ready?

Now listen quietly while the Story Wizard tells us how to write a story…

 http://currentflavor.blogspot.com/2007/03/who-are-you-to-question-story-structure.html

 and there is even more - here: http://acceptable.tv/department/tutorials

Enjoy. Hope the sun is shining in your world.

In July 2007  ‘The Unknown Screenwriter’ posted a review of ‘Writing a Great Movie’by Jeff Kitchen, subtitled ‘Key Tools for Successful Screenwriting.’

http://www.unknownscreenwriter.com/writing-a-great-movie-by-jeff-kitchen/screenwriting-books/2007/07/30/#comment-29980

I only came across the post a few weeks ago and was encouraged enough to order the book which arrived a few days ago and started working through it, hoping for some lateral thinking on my current Revisions, particularly with regards to building additional conflict layers.

I was not disappointed.

Working through the opening chapters, I have covered page after page with notes, mindmaps and question trees, all designed to create more drama in my fiction, working, extending, building, and developing challenges to the Goals and Needs of my protagonist.

The section on Dilemma is particularly useful in this regard. I found it a great way to break the story into a rationale sequence of events and decision points, all building to the crisis where my heroine makes her final decision. No going back. No surrender. Bring it on, type of decision - where her true character is revealed.

I am now looking at a sizeable stack of white cards with dilemma breakdowns from the main action line dilemma which was already in place, and I know I will be able to use most of these ideas to strengthen the emotional resonance of the story.

Recommended.

Go here for more info on Jeff Kitchen and his work; http://www.developmentheaven.com/ 

J A Konrath has been summarising some of his words of wisdom over on his always stimulating blog *- and several resonated with my few remaining brain cells, crispy as they are.

‘Before you make the key, study the lock.’‘It’s about what you have to offer, not what you have to sell.’

The last quote is particularly relevant in light of the recent interview with  Neil Nyron, who said this -

‘Whenever I get a new ms, here’s what I want to see:

• 1) Something different, a situation or character or voice that I haven’t seen hundreds of times before (or if they are familiar types, presented so damn well that I can’t resist them);
• 2) A sure command from the very first page - I want to feel immediately that the author knows what he or she is doing - if it’s wobbly, I’m just going to move on to another manuscript;
• 3) Something extra. This is hard to describe, because you only know it when you see it, but for me it’s a special intensity, a fierceness or passion that makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

After all that, I’m interested in who the author is, because if the author has something about him or her that’ll help us gain attention for the book, give us a leg up amidst the sea of new fiction pouring out, then that’s helpful.’

Then, later..

‘Action or detail? The answer is both - I want to get swept away, get the adrenalin pumping, and that’s what the best thriller writers do so well. They don’t give you time to hesitate - you have to keep turning the pages. I often think of the writer and the reader at opposite ends of a rope, and the writer is pulling the reader forward, steadily, inexorably, not letting the rope slack or the pace sag, until the reader ends up, exhausted but happy, at the last page.

I also like the thriller writer to create his own universe, if appropriate, and invite the reader into it. That’s always been one of Clancy’s secrets - he brings the reader into his world, makes him feel he’s learning things no one else can tell him, whether it’s about technology or geopolitics or the way institutions think and act. Cussler does the same thing in a different way. He digs deep into history and technology, then transforms them into complicated interlocking what-if storylines and set-pieces.’

Neil S. Nyren is senior vice president, publisher and editor in chief of G.P. Putnam’s Sons. He came to Putnam in 1984 from Atheneum, where he was Executive Editor. Before that he held editorial positions at Random House and Arbor House. Some of his fiction authors include Tom Clancy, Clive Cussler, Jack Higgins, W.E.B. Griffin, John Sandford, Dave Barry, Daniel Silva, Ken Follett, Randy Wayne White, Carol O’Connell, James O. Born, Patricia Cornwell and Frederick Forsyth.

At one point in 2007, he was the editor of 4 out of the 10 New York 10 Bestsellers.

For the full interview - go here:

http://murderati.typepad.com/murderati/2007/03/neil_nyren_no_l.html

*http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/2008/03/your-daily-inspiration-booster-shot.html#links

 You can make your own conclusions from these selected extracts, but they have consolidated my own personal views that to be a professional PUBLISHED working CONTRACTED writer in 2008 you truly need a deep understanding of craft, creativity and business.

In other words. You must become an artisan. A professional entrepreneur. Trying to persuade another human being to invest their time and energy and money in the product you are trying to sell. And sorry if that upsets the ‘artistes’, but that is the reallity of the publishing business as I see it.

From interviews such as this, I take away a range of key challenges and questions for my work.

For now - On with the show.

As a follow on from the previous post on the creation of Loglines - I thought it would be kewl to apply the same strategy to a recent thriller novel ‘The Abduction’ from Mark Gimenez and see what I can come up with. 

‘High Concept’ Logline for ‘The Abduction’ by Mark Gimenez.

The Main Protagonist = Ben Brice. Who will drive the detective elements of the Action Line.

But - also provides the main Personal Line in the story.

My idea for a simple LogLine for this Thriller would be something like this:

‘When the granddaughter of an alcoholic Vietnam war veteran is kidnapped, he refuses to give up the search and sets out to find her, and in the process becomes reconciled to the trauma of his past mistakes.’

For comparison, the actual Blurb on the website for the book

[ http://www.abductionthebook.com/about.php ] =

‘Is there a Plan to our lives?…or are our lives just a series of random events?

Ben Brice lives alone in a remote cabin outside Taos and drowns his memories of Vietnam in Jim Beam. But when Gracie, his ten-year-old granddaughter, is abducted outside Dallas, Ben puts down the bottle and goes in search of her, afraid that his dark past has come back to haunt her. Or is it just a random coincidence?’

NOTE - this LogLine also includes the Theme of the book - the idea of life having a Plan of sorts.

The One Page Synopsis reads like this -

‘Ben Brice lives alone in the New Mexico wilderness, where he builds furniture and battles memories of Vietnam with oceans of Jim Beam.

Miles away in Texas, his estranged son, John, an Internet geek-turned-billionaire, half-watches his daughter Gracie’s soccer game while on his cell phone.

When her mother, Elizabeth, arrives, the coach reports that her “brother” has already collected Gracie. But she has no brother- the girl was kidnapped.

The FBI gets called, as does Ben Brice.

Though rebuffed by his family as a pathetic drunk, Ben hopes to help save his beloved granddaughter.

With dozens of Feds and cops camped out in the house, the family offers a reward of $25 million.

Then the cops, searching out known sex offenders in the area, find Gracie’s jersey and traces of her blood in the car of Gary Jennings, an employee of John Brice.

They bring Jennings in, the case is closed, and Gracie is presumed dead.

Ben, however, does not believe Gracie is dead, nor does he believe that Jennings is the abductor.

After uncovering an FBI lead that placed two men with a blonde girl in Idaho, Ben and John decide to check it out.

As the race against time continues, family secrets from their past make Gracie’s survival more uncertain than ever.‘

NOTE - the focus is on the Inciting Incident and the role of Ben Brice.

Each line is a Plot Point. A turning point which forces Ben to make decisions and take action.

Conclusions? ‘The Abduction is a 500 page, probably 130, 000 word book. And the author has created an Action Line and Personal Line which can be expressed in a one sentence logline.

Awesome. As my American friends would say.

  Loglines.  Premise. The Story Idea. The Pitch.

For a newbie like myself, these can seem bewildering concepts which are only relevant to screenwriters and of no value to fiction writers.

Wrong.

What do you say when someone who is genuinely interested in you works asks the killer question ‘ What’s the Story about?’ and 10 minutes later you are still giving him the backstory about the villian’s demonic mother in the Ukraine, and your potential agent/publisher/friend is desperately signalling to a colleague to find an excuse to get away from you.

Why?

Because you are boring, rambling, and worse, you have not answered the question. Or, even worse, you are just getting into your stride on all of the research you completed on the causes of the Franco=Prussian War and - wait for it - there is no story because you are still looking for characters who can postulate your theory.

And in doing so you have just demonstrated that you are anything else EXCEPT a professional author.

AHHH! Career alert!

So. What is your Story About?

To me, I have to be able to give a simple answer like this -

My story is about someone [ your protagonist]….who strives for [goal]… and this stands in his way [ forces of opposition and antagonism].

WHO he is, WHAT he wants, and WHAT he is going to have to overcome to get it.

Examples?

For a short story it could be; ‘ Little Sarah, aged 4 and a half, is promised by her mother that she can have a chocolate ice cream, but first she has to eat her dinner vegetables. And they are ALL GREEN. Can she survive such horror?‘

For a movie, how about;

‘Set in West Texas, a man on the run with a suitcase full of money is pursued by a number of individuals.’

Or ‘ When an attorney gets zapped by his son’s birthday wish, he learns that he can no longer tell a lie even when he tries, so he must now win the biggest case of his career by being honest.’

One sentence.  A logline.

This is a SELLING TOOL for your work.  The 30 second elevator pitch.

But what if you want a logline to keep YOU, the writer, on track during the writing and editing and re-writing. The paragraph you have taped to your PC monitor to remind you that this is what you are meant to be writing about?

For me, that is when the Logline becomes the Story Line. And it has to serve different functions.

• Clearly states The Main Desire line for your hero which will drive the story from start to finish. This is the spine and passionate force in your story. Even for ice cream.
• Sets up the Story Question. We know the tale is over when the Goal set out in the Desire line is achieved and the reader turns the last page.
• Sets up the Character Arc for the protagonist.

The Unknown Screenwriter calls this his ‘COMPASS LOGLINE’ and provides this list of essential elements for an ‘High Concept’ Compass Logline:

1. The Protagonist’s main character trait that begins his or her transformational arc.
2. The Protagonist’s main function in the story.
3. The main story conflict and the central question of the story.
4. The Antagonist or forces of antagonism.
5. The Protagonist’s goal and transformational arc.

Go here to find out more about each element= http://www.unknownscreenwriter.com/category/screenwriting-secrets/

What do I need to know BEFORE I can create a compelling, and hopefully High Concept Compass Logline/Story Line for my latest bestseller?

1. I need to know who my Protagonist is. What is she like? What are the character traits which make her unique and interesting. Her backstory and, most importantly, what motivates her to make the decisions she is taking in her ‘ordinary life’.
2. I need to know how my Protagonist will change by the end of the story- and why. I can then use this to focus on key aspects of my heroine’s character.
3. I need to know what the Inciting Incident is, and how this will create a compelling GOAL for my Protagonist which becomes the Story Question which will be answered by the end of the story. What will she have to ENDURE on this journey?
4. Who or What is going to block my heroine from achieving her goal?

For me, I have to complete at least a first draft OUTLINE of  my novel BEFORE I can answer these questions. The key turning points. A character bio for hero and her antagonist.

In some cases I have to write the first draft before I can answer these questions, since my ideas were still fluid at the Story Idea point.

I did not know HOW the character arc would be complete until my heroine took me there.

But I did have a basic Story Line from Day One.

I THEN use the extended logline to help during the revisions and editing.

PLUS I can use this one paragraph outline to create the perfect Back Cover Blurb for the book, and the extended selling material. Not a word wasted.

No one said this was easy…but, sheesh.

I believe it was the crime writer Barry Eisler* who made the comparison between a writer looking for a literary agent, and a self-employed entrepreneur looking for a venture capitalist, who will be willing to invest in their product and their business. i.e. You. The writer.

• Why should this venture capitalist invest their time and money in you as opposed to the 1000s of other writers out there?
•  Which publisher IS going to buy this book?
• Who IS going to hand over their hard earned cash to buy this book you have create? What are the target demographics? How does it compare to other books already on the market?
• Why should they take a risk with YOUR book? What have YOU got to offer them which is unique = and commercial? In marketing terms - What is your Unique Selling Point?

I personally find this a useful analogy. Even if it does offend the ‘artistes’, but then again, I WANT to be published and my work read and enjoyed by other folk.

• I am the writer as entrepreneur. Self-employed. On my own.
• I have created a ‘protype’ if you will, of my work.
• Now I have to convince another person that, if they take the risk and invest in my work, then I will give them a return on their investment.

So. What answers do we have to these questions?

Over the next few days I will be working on the synopsis for my crime thriller and attempting to condense this into a compelling premise, which can be used to pitch to a literary agent.

Wish me luck - I am going in. Gulp.

*http://www.barryeisler.com/writers_marketing.php

CHARACTER ARC 

The Mystery Man on Film * and Joshua James **have been engaged in a fascinating dialogue on the concept of ‘Transformational Character Arc’ as opposed to ‘Emotional Connection’ - that unique aspect of story telling which we, as readers and viewing audiences, find so compelling and compulsive, but which may not, necessarily, involve a deep, visible, character arc.

For an expert, comprehensive and thought provoking series of articles on ‘The Transformational Character Arc’ - go here, to the Unknown Screenwriter, who has been generous enough to offer the complete series as a download. http://www.unknownscreenwriter.com/
Brilliant. Opinionated. I love it. All praise. [ I am looking at the print-out on my desk right as I type].

Will I use it?

For me, like all training material on character development and story development, you take what you need at that moment, from the information provided, and allow what remains, rattle around inside your poor crowded brain like a stick in a bucket, and let it work its magic.
Lateral thinking.
Extrapolation thinking, if you will.

These are the tools you need to challenge your work - have you generated enough emotional power and drive in the characters you have created, their emotional motivation for making the decisions they make, and the actions they take?
Their emotional truth.
Why should a reader/viewer care if the character does not achieve their goal?
What happens if they don’t make it?

Many screenwriting coaches appear to have an obsession with Character Arc of the protagonist.
What is missing in the main character’s life, which will be fulfilled by the end of the story? Their need. And if possible, at the same time as they complete the story action line/ external conflict.

I have had the pleasure of attending a number of weekend screenwriting courses, including Robert McGee and John Truby ***, both on rare visits to London.

A key take away for me from the John Truby weekend was this;

there are many types of Protagonist/Hero who do NOT undergo a Character Arc through the story.

These are, of course, the dominant characteristics, and I would suggest that one of the reasons these names are memorable, is because in each case, the writer has created a complex, dynamic, surprising, multi-layered version of an archetype which we found compelling.

So. No. I do not think that you MUST have an up-front, in-your-face, transitional character arc for your hero.
But here is the sting.
I am working to create accessible, commercial crime fiction which will take my readers on a journey.
And to do that, I need to create a protagonist [ and an opponent] who the reader can walk with on that journey and share their experiences.
And for me, that means I have to create the emotional connection to the very deep personal internal conflict which is causing that character very deep pain, and show how she confronts that conflict while achieving her goal/external conflict.
Creating an emotional experience for the reader on the way.

Forget crack cocaine and crystal meth. I am a Catharsis dealer.

Sigh. The shame….

* http://mysterymanonfilm.blogspot.com/

**http://writerjoshuajames.com/dailydojo/?p=380

***http://www.truby.com/

“Don’t knock the “hook.” It’s the difference between life & death for your concept. “
– Christopher Lockhart, Creative Exec, William Morris Agency

“Everyone is looking for a good hook. It’s virtually impossible for an unknown writer to get a spec read that doesn’t have a good hook.
The spec market is a hook market. “
– James V. Simpson, Screenwriter

============================================================

So. You are an unpublished writer - in any medium.
The good and great tell you that you need a ‘Story Hook.’

Um. Thanks. Very helpful.

So how do the professionals do it? How do they create the ‘Story Hook’?

Both of the quotes above - and thanks to ‘Writing & Building’ http://writing-building.blogspot.com/ for the inspiration - refer to speculative submissions. The Unsolicited manuscripts which flood agents and publishers offices day in, day out.

I think there are four ways of looking at this;

1. the Story Hook  created by the writer in her Pitch which will get her noticed  by the gatekeepers -her Synopsis still has to tell a brilliant tale, but if you cannot get read in the first place…

2. The Tag line. The few words which will tell the theme etc of the tale so that the reader/audience knows what to expect. One sentence.

3. the Story Hook created by Marketing and Publicity to attract an audience in the first place. Movie poster and Trailer Moments with that fabulous voice over. Back cover blurb on glossy harback books.

4. The expression of that Story Hook in the opening chapters of the novel or the opening scenes in a movie/play/ animation.  How can it be used to intrigue the reader and force them to ask questions?

Let’s take a recent award winning movie such as Michael Clayton and let’s challenge those precepts.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=

What is the Story Hook in the movie Michael Clayton?

Michael Clayton is an in-house fixer at one of the largest corporate law firms in New York. A former criminal prosecutor, Clayton takes care of Kenner, Bach, & Ledeen’s dirtiest work at the behest of the firm’s co-founder, Marty Bach. Though burned out and hardly content with his job as a fixer, his divorce, a failed business venture, and mounting debt have left Clayton inextricably tied to the firm. At U/North, meanwhile, the career of litigator Karen Crowder rests on the multi-million dollar settlement of a class-action suit that Clayton’s firm is leading to a seemingly successful conclusion. But when Kenner Bach’s brilliant and guilt-ridden attorney Arthur Edens sabotages the U/North case, Clayton faces the biggest challenge of his career and his life.

Look at the trailer. The voice over. http://michaelclayton.warnerbros.com/#

Basically, Michael Clayton’s job is to cover up secrets. To make things ‘Go Away’ for his clients. Only now his friend Arthur has to ‘Go Away’. What is he going to do? Will he make this one go away?

What is the Tag line?

It is right up there on the poster. In RED CAPITALS= power. THE TRUTH CAN BE ADJUSTED. It covers up the face of the main character. Almost obscuring him.

How is that Story Hook expressed in the work?

The opening montage of scenes showing Michael Clayton at the gambling tables, doing his disreputable work with  a client he despises, the moment of the respite in the freezing cold dawn, and BANG. His car explodes. Twice. And his life turns.

This man’s job is hiding secrets. Covering up the truth. And now he has to make a decision. As the story builds and builds, we become more emotionally involved in this man’s life. Even though we know he survives the explosion, this opening sequence asks so many questions that we are compelled to watch and become engaged.

It is a defining moment for this character. He stands in that field with the horses and is sick and tired of his weakness. The car explodes. And he now takes his skills and knowledge and uses it to REVEAL the secrets, EXPOSE the dirty tricks, and find justice.

 What do we want the first 15 minutes of screen time, the first 1o mins of TV time, or I would suggest, first 3 pages of a novel to achieve?

* It has to establish the story world - contemporary, historical, futuristic. and therefor the tone of the story to follow

*It has to immediately signal the location - Interior -what kind of room? hospital bed, motel room, luxury palace? or Exterior - Time of day. Desert, Forest, City? Or both if the camera zooms in closer and closer. Sensual detail - soft fabrics. Harsh neon and fluorescent strip lights. Winter cold. Tropical jungle heat.

* The people. Who are they? What are they doing at that moment in time.

AND - why should we care? What is it about these people that we can relate to? Want to bond with? Engage with?What keeps us watching? Reading? What will lock us into their story?

To determine how the professionals go about achieving this, I have been taking a look at the opening of several recent crime dramas and evaluating aspects of the craft of creating an effective opening sequence.

Starting with a Tele Script. Bionic Woman.

Here in the UK we saw the Pilot Episode of ‘Bionic Woman’ 2008 style from NBC.

I thought it might be useful to record the episode and review the structure of the performance - particularly the opening section.  I understand from online forums that the final screened Pilot may be a slashed version of a 2 hr movie, but nevertheless, the professionals made a decision to go with this format and trust the audience.

The episode I saw had a total run time of 59 mins with commercial breaks at approx. 7, 26 and 46 minutes. 

So here goes. My personal brief synopsis of the opening section of Bionic Woman, with the UK commercial breaks shown.

Personal Conclusions?

* The first 2 minutes is a Teaser. Full of drama. Forces the viewer to ask lots of questions - where, who, why, what is going on? But it only lasts 2 mins.

* Why are they using a Teaser? Because the ordinary world of the lead is ..well, ordinary. She has an unlikely boyfriend who seems very sweet and she is kind to her teenage sister who was dumped on her by their father. She is a nice girl. And there is no drama in nice girls. So. The first commercial break comes in at 7 mins while folks are still prepared to hang on until something exciting happens.

* Do we care about the characters? What is the promise of the Teaser and the title of the pilot? Folk expect Jamie Summers to become the Bionic Woman. And that happens in Act Two. And suddenly we have some empathy with this character, and the situation she finds herself in. She has suffered serious loss. So, the viewer who came back after the break is rewarded with the drama. So yes, there is some emotional identification.

I don’t care about the boyfriend Will, despite his heroics. Or anybody else so far.

* Does it set the location and setting? Very well. Hard lab corridor, harder lighting, hard black armed team. Bloody bodies. This is not going to be a Jane Austen historical.

Overall. They had to use the dramatic opening section to fix the context of the drama and engage the viewer because the set-up of the ordinary world was too banal. 

The Jamie/sister conflict was used to maintain some tension, but this was a difficult one. The next 15 mins were packed with car crashes, classical medical emergency voices and operations. They had to create a normal world for Jamie before it was destroyed.

Problems? I did not believe that she was pregnant.  I did not believe that Will - if it was love at first sight - had not proposed before. And I did not believe that he would ask her to go to Paris with him. She is clearly intelligent, but has chosen a certain lifestyle at 24 - there is some secret backstory hinted at later which might have helped. I did not believe that Will would be giving lectures when he also had a job at the BioTech clinic.

Worse. I did not believe that this Jamie in the set-up was convincing as the empowered Jamie at the end. Even with chips in the brain - which curiously did not require the surgeons to ruffle her hair style.

For more info go here: http://www.tv.com/bionic-woman/pilot/episode/1057410/recap.html

Imagine if you will, that you are browsing the shelves of your big, brightly lit bookshop and come upon the Crime Section.  

Yes, a real life, physical, bricks and mortar, non-virtual bookshop.

There maybe 100s of books arranged alphabetically by Author Name, spines only, all calling for attention. Hardbacks, softbacks, Comic books. It is bewildering.

Except that, there, laid out before you, on the shelf or a display table, are the attractive front covers of perhaps five or ten - at most - latest hardbook books from well known writers whose work you have enjoyed before.

And perhaps one or two you do not know, but the cover design closely resembles another book you enjoyed. The title sounds interesting. The author’s name is not too scary. There is a quote from a writer you have heard of, telling you how good this story is.  Perhaps the bookshop recommends it.

Being a generous and brave person you pick up one of these new books. You might read the back blurb. You might even read the info on the inside covers. And if the marketing and design dept has done their work - you may flick to the first page of actual text and read the opening paragraphs.

One page. Maybe 3 or 4 paragraphs.  And you make your decision. Right then.

Because what are your options?

Are you truly willing to invest the next ?? hours of your life living in the world of this character and sharing this character’s experience? And this is about 500 pages, and no pictures. And you only read for maybe 30 mins in bed at night [ maybe 40 mins for women, 20 mins for men]. That could take weeks.

Or shall you go home and re-watch ‘Die Hard’ or the complete series of ‘24′ on DVD? You already know what sort of vicarious experience that will give you, and you do not have to pay out your hard earned cash for something you may NOT like or enjoy.

Or wait until the paperback comes out and take it on vacation with you? If you remember then, because of course, there will be 50 other books out between now and then.

Do you take the risk?

 THE BAD NEWS?

I believe that the same dilemma faces any writer who is looking for an audience, for their work, irrespective of whether they are -

* the literary or creative artist Agents, Publishers and Producers, Script Readers

* A fiction reader of any genre

* A TV audience with a remote control who is ‘channel hopping’, perhaps at the program changes on the hour or half hour

* A movie goer who is scanning Trailers trying to decide which film to watch for themselves, their date or their family.

THE GOOD NEWS?

I also believe that the professional writer can create the best opportunity possible for their work to stand above the others, to be seen, read, heard. To have an audience. To get past the gatekeepers who they need to love their work.

By working until their fingers bleed and their brain explodes [ at least in my case]

Learning the craft.

It is in our own hands to find the best way we can to bring the audience to our work.

And this is good news. Because it means that it is in our own power.

THIS WEEK. I am trying to re-write the opening pages of my latest WIP in the most compelling way possible.

And on the way I am going to share what I learn from resources on Fiction Hooks, TV Teasers, Movie Trailers and Script First Pages.

Courage ma brave, courage.